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August 10th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Progress? Well, we know each other five years now. 3.5 we dated. 1.5 apart. After we broke up… I had her move out… I did not contact her for a long time. Then did. She had moved away for a career. A bit later She started dating someone. (We had slept together after She met him… She had been out meeting others.). He moved away for Grad School. I had been in varying states of limited and no contact. That escalated at various times. Early on, I flew out to see her… She kissed me constantly. She flew home last month, we had a great time, physical things happened. After it escalated she wanted to not talk because she hadn’t broken up with the other guy. I said… I don’t want to talk until she breaks up. Then, I had a family trip to her area… Contacted her… She had been feeling fear of losing me… Guilt for what she was putting me through. We talked a bit… Then agreed to see each other for the few days we would be in CA at the same time. (interviews elsewhere for her.) We had sex first day… It was incredible. We spent time each day having a lot of fun out. And we had sex several other times. She loaned me her car as She left for her interview. I had told her that the reason I gave a limited window before was because people I was interested and now knew for a while were ready. She said she was making up her mind on who to marry and it was not a minor decision and she was not asking me to stay while she made it. So either I gave her her time, or moved on. I go back home. She has a job offer in Minessotta where the other guy is… But, just had a great interview in Northern Ca for a better job where she would rather be. No offer yet, but they did fly her up there. I feel like job offers and proximity effect the decisions because a top concern in her life is to get a job ASAP. After this intense period with sex… Sleeping over… Etc. And us going opposite directions… No decision yet. And after an intense night of discussion… And parting ways… She had me over the last night she was in town… And we had sex again. I do not know what to do from here. We had agreed to meet up to write a truce… I was wanting to move on… To just get out of the cycle… So wanted to agree certain things would be true… We would honor them… And move forwards into the unknown. We never did the truce. In a heated moment… She said maybe we should do the truce… But, moments later it had turned entirely. And after a night home alone… I was there for her last night in town. So… No truce… No closure… But, sex. Repeatedly… And the phone rang several times… I learned from her later she felt horrible because she had lied and told him she was out with friends… Etc. This is messy as heck. I’m trying to figure out my next move. My attitudes and confidence have been calibrated right. Not sure where to go from here. I feel I need to tell her I need a little emotional space to sort out what I want. But, not sure it is time for that again as the longer NC plan.
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