With a strong partner, the withdrawal possibly would never have happened, or would be nipped in the bud if it started. F'r example, there are times I feel that all I want to do is just crawl into my shell and pretend the world doesn't exist. On almost every occasion, that isn't what is best for me, and B has slowly learnt he can force me into doing something, and that whilst I may complain bitterly at the start, by the end of the day I'll have thoroughly enjoyed myself. (It's an entirely different matter if in between the protestations of wanting to be left alone I'm chanting a mantra consisting solely of the name of the medication I take for migraines).

As for mind altering substances, does chocolate count? ;-) B has on a couple of occasions accused me of coming close to orgasm by eating an especially good chocolate...

by ConfusedOfHomeCounties on 2004 Aug 28 - 02:58 | reply to this comment Interesting, though difficult article - Advanced stuff! Interesting article. For me, the article implies two major things

First, that either the man is in control and he ignores any figurative lines in the sand or he is not. Once consent is given, that consent is total from the woman's point of view and the man needs to know that and act on it. It is an expression of love and faith by the woman to her partner. Once consent is given, any tantrums that occur on the way to punishment (or whatever) are ignored by the stronger partner. This is what the woman wants, and this is part of why she chose this man and not a man less able to give her the control she seeks. For a woman who wants this level of control, it is very satisfying to be with a man who takes this seriously. Women I have been with have described feeling peaceful after having been given the thrashing of their life. To give them that peace does sometimes mean going beyond a little pat on the rear, despite any kicking or screaming at the time. But I think you'll find some readers will find this a difficult concept to understand. The key point is that this is about what the woman wants, not something a man should impose - that would be abuse.

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Last-modified: 2022-04-20 (水) 20:53:17 (682d)